The Friend Crush: Is This Love Or Friendship
He's your good friend. She's your best confidant. You have known each other for a few years and have shared meals, movies, hobbies and vacations. You have confided to each other about your newest love interest and turned to one an additional one for withhold when the relationship(s) failed. You can't dream life without your good friend.
The Friend Crush: Is This Love Or Friendship
The Friend Crush: Is This Love Or Friendship
The Friend Crush: Is This Love Or Friendship
The Friend Crush: Is This Love Or Friendship
But for a while....
You've felt jealous of his dates. You've been overprotective of her since she has been finding the jerk. You've been having
very strong feelings of attraction and a desire for something more than friendship. Could it be that your feelings for him/her have grown into something more? If so, your association may have developed into a "friend crush".
You don't know what to do. You know you want to continue spending time together- more time. But it's getting hard. You dream about having more with this someone and are beginning to feel like a jealous would-be partner. Do you pretend all is the same? Do you start distancing yourself- hoping your feelings will go back to the way they were? Do you surely Talk directly and surely with your friend about how you feel?
What will happen to the association if you make the Wrong choice?
Just as all citizen are unique, so are the characteristics of their relationships with others. There is no one-size-fits-all talk to this increasingly common dilemma. So, let's take a look at your options. You can:
* ignore your feelings, keep your boundaries in check and pretend all is status quo
In order to select this option, you must be able to deny your feelings so well that even you don't know what they are. You will also have to continue being comfortable on the sidelines while someone else has the association with this someone that you desire. You will most likely be asked what you think of this or that someone and be predicted to be happy and supportive of your friend when they meet the right someone for them. In return for all this, you will still have your friend.
* begin to spend less time with your friend (crush) while seeking out new friendships to pursue and strengthen
This selection will most likely cause blurring and hurt on the part of your friend who will wonder what happened. They may be understanding and accepting of your need to spread your wings and withhold you in doing what you need to do. Whether way, you will see less of them and your association can weaken and maybe disappear altogether as they move on with new people. If you can distance yourself for a while and no longer feel the romantic butterflies, you can all the time give them a call and may be able to pick up somewhere near where you left off.
* continue the association with your own secret agendas - a desire for romantic intimacy and the hope that the someone will comprehend that they feel the same way
If they become complex with someone else in the meantime, you can work to sabotage their new association or you can leave them wondering where all your anger and hurt feelings are advent from. You can spend a lot of time and power handling it this way, without anyone to show for your efforts but the loss of a good friend.
* have an open and honest argument with your friend about your new feelings for them
This is the selection that seems to be the hardest for folks to make. Often what I hear from citizen in this position is that they fear "ruining the friendship" if they discuss their feelings honestly. While this is a very understandable concern, it isn't well thought out. It is emotional, not rational. Look again at the other options. Every one will bring about a turn in your current friendship.
Why?
Once your feelings have changed, so does the relationship. Ignoring them, hiding them or distancing yourself will lessen your closeness and the confident dynamics that flow in the middle of good friends. You can't go back. You need to settle how you want to move transmit or if this is an selection for you. . It is also possible in selecting this selection that you will learn that they have similar feelings for you that they were afraid to reveal. Therefore selecting this selection could supervene in romance and a love association based on true friendship.
Intimacy exists in all close relationships. It is the quality to be fully open and vulnerable to an additional one without fear of harm or rejection. So, by definition, we cannot be intimate with an additional one while hiding or denying our true feelings and needs to them.
The selection will all the time be yours. selecting wisely is about surely knowing the options, the consequences they bring and what will be best for you and your friend.
The Friend Crush: Is This Love Or Friendship